The Fence Isn’t the Problem: Context, Trust & Modern Leadership
Wax on, wax off
Warning: movie spoiler!
In The Karate Kid (1984), a large portion of the movie has teenager Daniel (Ralph Macchio) doing seemingly endless household chores for his mentor, Mr. Miyagi (Pat Morita) – painting fences, sanding floors, waxing cars. Feeling frustrated and deceived, Daniel finally confronts Mr. Miyagi, rightfully so, demanding to know when he’ll actually learn karate, only to discover he was learning karate techniques all along. It’s a great cinematic twist.
While this makes for compelling drama, in the workplace, leaders who withhold context erode trust and engagement. Whether you’re Mr. Miyagi or not.
You may have you been asked to start a project without understanding how it fits the bigger picture. It’s rarely because our leaders are master strategists with a grand reveal planned.
The Self-Awareness Gap
A former colleague recently asked (see above), “Have you ever worked for a leader who lacked self-awareness?” The question got me thinking that many workplace “Miyagi moments” aren’t intentional, they’re blind spots.
Self-awareness is the foundation that determines whether a leader builds trust or accidentally destroys it.
A truly self-aware leader will understand their team needs meaning and context to do their best work. They understand that what seems obvious to them, isn’t automatically clear to others.
But the gap isn’t usually that leaders don’t care about their teams. It’s that they don’t realize how their approach to management impacts others.
Self-Aware Leaders Are Different
Leaders want their teams to walk through walls for them, but self-aware leaders know their people need to trust it’s the right wall, and for the right reasons. They recognize that trust isn’t automatic, it’s earned through consistent clarity and inclusion.
While I’ve seen my share of leaders who lacked self-awareness, the most effective self-aware leaders shared a common approach: they assumed their team needed more context, not less.
- They lead with the “why” before the “what:” Before assigning work, they explain how it connects to larger goals and why it matters.
- They model curiosity instead of projecting certainty: Normalizing questions by asking them themselves: “What do you mean by that?” or “Help me understand your perspective.”
- They share information in multiple formats: Explaining in simple terms, visualize with diagrams or examples, then confirm understanding by asking for reactions.
- They create psychological safety: Recognizing meaningful participation requires people to feel safe questioning, clarifying, and even disagreeing.
This works at the highest levels of leadership.
The Information Advantage
Gen. Stanley McChrystal put it best in his book Team of Teams when describing how he transformed military operations in the Middle East. Using a model originally employed by NASA for the 1969 moon landing, he created ultimate transparency turning the complex operation into a unified, high-trust system, providing everyone – from engineers to low-level contractors – with access to the same real-time information.
“It wasn’t about giving people more rules, it was about giving them more information.” – Gen. Stanley McChrystal
His approach enabled faster, more confident decisions because self-aware leadership meant recognizing he didn’t have all the answers, and that trying to be the sole decision-maker creates bottlenecks. Including people who had the information, on the other hand, builds capability.
Don’t “Miyagi” Your Team
The movie’s dramatic reveal works because Daniel, to a degree, chooses to trust Mr. Miyagi despite the confusion. But in the workplace, that kind of trust isn’t realistic or fair to expect from your team.
Self-aware leaders understand providing context, fostering quality communication, and exhibiting psychological safety makes teams want to follow them.
Once you reach a level of self-awareness, the path forward is clear:
- Lead with Clarity – Explain the “why” before assigning the “what”
- Model Curiosity – Welcome clarifying questions like, “What do you mean by that?”
- Visualize & Confirm – Share ideas multiple ways and check for understanding
While being a self-aware leader is about knowing your own strengths and blind spots, it’s also about recognizing your team’s success depends on the context and psychological safety you provide. The fence was never the problem. The problem was assuming everyone understood why they were painting it.
And if you haven’t seen The Karate Kid, do yourself a favor and give it a watch.
Resources:
Team of Teams: New Rules of Engagement for a Complex World by General Stanley McChrystal